August 15, 2010

Over Analyzing Movies

I shouldn't do it, I know I shouldn't, but I find it difficult to watch movies without over analyzing their content. Terminator, for example - the time paradox of John Connor having to be born so that he can send his father back in time so that he can be born makes me insane! I like the movie, and I'll watch it over and over again. But, it still makes me nuts, which is perhaps crazy in and of itself.

But, if I thought I was bad - I'm NOTHING compared to my fiance!! Holy Monkies!! I love him to death, but the man needs to just enjoy the experience once in a while, without over-thinking every teeny tiny detail!

We just finished watching "Brainscan" on FearNet. I really enjoy the movie (a great pick for you horror/sci-fi fans). The ending is one of those where you're not entirely sure what happened. Think "Total Recall," where it's perfectly feasible that it happened, but it's also perfectly feasible that it was all just some hypnosis-induced dream.

So, my beloved has to immediately start over-thinking it. "Well, that doesn't make sense because logically..."

Guess what guys, sometimes movies don't make sense. Hell - most of the time movies don't make a lot of sense. That's what makes them FANTASY in nature. Just go with it, even if it's difficult for you to do so. Makes the experience immeasurably more fun.

August 14, 2010

Heroic Dog Risks His Own Life To Save Another Dog

I couldn't help but share this truly inspirational video.

Whereas it greatly upsets me that the human beings on this highway (in particular, the one who hit the dog in the first place) did nothing to help out for so long, it's also touching and heart-warming to see that the other dog, who I can only assume was a friend, was so willing to risk the same fate in order to save his friend.

Honestly, it brought tears to my eyes.

Never More Than I Can Handle...

One of my favorite quotes is actually from Mother Theresa - "I know that God will never give me any more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."

Chanting that in my head on occasion has helped me deal with quite a few stressful situations, particularly as of late.

The baby and I are still getting used to each other, as happens with all precious new additions. It's not as though they pop out and suddenly you're 100% on top of everything; knowing the meaning of every cry, knowing exactly what their reactions will be to everything, used to being a mommy (again), etc. It takes some time to get into a routine, learn about who the baby is as an individual person, etc. And, the baby too has to learn about you. So, in the interim, settling into a pattern can certainly be a stressful undertaking. It's worth it, absolutely, but still stressful (like anything that's worth it, really).

But, lately, there have been a few more challenges unfolding here that are equally as stressful, with a much less pleasant potential outcome.

My uncle had a stroke. It was minor, for a stroke, but it was still a stroke. As a result, he's had to undergo surgery to place a stint in one of the arteries leading to the brain, become partially paralyzed (on his left side), and has a few other medical concerns that could lead to his being unable to continue living an independent life. My uncle is like a second father to me, so this has hit closer to home than it might if he were more of an "extended family member".

His condition worries me. And, I know this is a nightmare for both him and my father, as this is how their father died. Long before I was even a twinkle in my fathers eye, my paternal grandfather died from a stroke. It started the same way it is now with my uncle. He had a series of small stroke after "small" stroke until he was finally left entirely bedridden and paralyzed for over a year. At the end of that humiliating time, one last stroke ended his life.

Currently, my uncle is in Illinois. And, my father is out there for another week helping to take care of his finances, as well as where he'll be staying more long-term while he is recovery and going through physical therapy (and occupational therapy, recreational therapy, etc.).

However, should he continue to need care beyond which family members can provide on a part time basis out there, my uncle will have to come out here so that I can take care of him all day long.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing that. He took care of me for a many years. He continues to be a care-giver to me in many ways (the house that my family and I live in, is owned by him, so we don't have to worry about spending $1000+ per month on rent in CA). I owe him, and I WANT to do this for him.

But, with a new baby in the house, and two small children besides, it would certainly be a challenge ensuring everyone, including my uncle, gets the quality of care that they need from me. I'm willing, even happy, to do it. But the concern over how I'll be able to spread myself so thin and still take care of everyone is simply more stress.

On top of all that, there is the concern over my grandmother and her sister. Grandma and Aunt Gloria ended up in the hospital right around the same time, one right after the other. Grandma has pneumonia, which is quite serious for a woman of her age. Aunt Gloria may have to go in for surgery on her intestine.

As mom said, "What? Is this hospital week or something?!"

August 12, 2010

New Babies Are Awesome!

It's been a while since I've written, and there's a good reason for that. The last few months of my pregnancy were tiresome to say the least. I was going into the Dr. a minimum of twice per week, for monitoring (as I had gestational diabetes).

After about a week's worth of labor regularly occurring, but not dilating me past 2, they took pity on me and began an induction. That took about a day, and then he was born! May 25th.

The truly awesome part of the experience (other than the blessed epidural) was that I got to deliver him myself, after the Dr. made sure his head and shoulders were clear! This is the third baby, first boy, and the very first time that I've ever been offered that option!

We stayed in the hospital for around a day, and now we are finally settling into a definitive pattern with one another.

I don't get much sleep, of course, but I never really have anyway, so it's not so much bothersome for me.

He is an awesome baby! He is very mellow and "go with the flow" most of the time. He is positively gorgeous and looks a great deal like his father. And, he is just one of the sweetest little human beings I've ever had the privilege of meeting.

Two months old now, and he is growing like he has a phobia of being short!! He is ALWAYS eating! And, he's even a size 3 diaper already! It's NOT FREAKING FAIR!!!


Okay, I'm calmer now.

I keep telling him to slow down with that growing stuff. But, wouldn't you know it.... he's the living embodiment of stubbornness!

Don't know where he could possibly have gotten that trait from......

January 27, 2010

The Uselessness of Regret

I have long held to the statement that I do not believe in regret. In a way, that's inaccurate. Obviously, I have to acknowledge that regret exists. And, I'm certainly not innocent of never having regretted a choice, a decision, an outcome, something done to me, something I've done....

Still, I firmly stand by the assertion that to regret even a single moment in your life is to regret who you are. And I, for one, refuse to regret who I am.

I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be, and I never will. I don't believe in perfection. Frankly, if "perfect" were even possible, I would find it rather boring and devoid of life. Personally, I find that it's peoples imperfections that make them interesting in the first place.

Still, I like who I am, for the most part. I have plenty of flaws. I have to live with having made some bad decisions. I have to acknowledge that I have been; stupid, wrong, even "crazy" on more than one occasion (and I'm not even half way through with my life... hopefully).

But, in the end, I like who I am. I think everyone should give that a try - like who you are. Unless you're Ted Bundy or the like (Hey, there are always exceptions to every realm of thought)

I have done my best to stick to my own principles and ethics, while being open to changes, though I admittedly have fallen short. I have done my best to be a; good friend, good daughter, good wife, good mother, good worker, etc., whenever I felt that I needed to/should be.

When all is said and done, more than one of my "bad" decisions lead to the privilege of being a mother to two gorgeous, sweet, thoughtful, helpful little girls who I couldn't imagine my life without. Other "regrettable" occurrences or choices have resulted in; a deeper understanding of self, the realization of a strength I didn't know I had, a broader range of life experiences (and, therefore, the ability to sympathize with more of my fellow humans), an immeasurable appreciation for the love I share with my fiance...

As difficult as I may find it to live with some of the things I've done or said or experienced... each and every one of those things has brought me to where I am and made me who I am. Each and every one has resulted in an imperfect life that is sometimes depressing, but always blessed.

January 24, 2010

Online Personas

When people communicate online, it's difficult or us to get a clear picture of who they really are as human beings. It doesn't mean they aren't being genuine, but we tend to base a lot of our impressions of others on; their tone, the look on their face when they say or do something, how they react to specific situations, etc. And, these are extremely difficult to decipher online (if not impossible).

Still, it seems that it's in our nature to need to come to some kind of conclusion regarding who/what people are.

It's true that some people are not honest about who they are. This can be said of some people in real life, as well as online. Certainly, though, there are plenty of people who are perfectly honest about the people they are and can still give one the "wrong" impression.

I've actually had at least one person, online, think that I'm some sort of hippie that farts rainbows and sunshine everywhere she goes. "Funny" doesn't even begin to describe that reaction to who I am, from my perspective (as well as from the perspective of anybody who's taken the time to get to know me).

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing bad with being the kind of person who does do that, IF that really is who you are (although, I would feel compelled to assume you're taking some REALLY good anti-depressants or something).

Most people though, myself included, are complex critters. We laugh, we cry, we scream, we rage, we joke or take things far too seriously, we hurt, we hurt others, and so on. Like mood rings, what color we show depends on the situation, our mood, and a variety of other factors.

A person who is truly genuine about their whole self can easily be kind one minute and cruel the next, all depending on the circumstances. That doesn't mean they are being two-faced, it usually means that they are simply being honest about their reactions - not hiding behind a computer screen or trying to "keep the peace" by lying to you about how something makes them feel.

I don't trust someone who is always the same; who always, regardless of circumstance, wears the exact same mask. I appreciate people who are honest about their feelings, their struggles, their strengths and weaknesses, etc. I find them more well-rounded, more full of life, more genuine.

I'm not saying that the feelings of others shouldn't be taken into account, or that there aren't times when perhaps something could or should be sugar-coated. Sometimes, depending on the situation, that may be the diplomatic solution, or the only way to ensure that your point is heard or understood.

Still - I'm not a fan of anal smoke-blowing.

I'm one of those who likes BRUTAL honesty. I want people to say exactly what they mean and mean EXACTLY what they say. No, my reaction may not always be peace and love, but I'll respect you more for your complete disregard for whether or not something you say will upset me in any way. I'll respect you more for being entirely upfront about who you are, what you believe, what you think... And, in the end, we're more likely to become good friends.

January 23, 2010

The Pregnant Personality

I've come to the conclusion that you can tell what basic type of personality a child will have, by analyzing the personality [changes] of mom while she's pregnant.

With my first daughter, now 7 years old, I was highly - OVERLY - sensitive. Mind you, many of the things I found myself crying over were based on legitimate concerns or upsets. Still, these were things that I would have become ticked off about, or sad without tears necessarily, prior to becoming pregnant. Once I was pregnant with her, forget it!

I literally had to run outside one time, so that I could cry without getting into an argument with my husband over whether or not I was lying about not knowing why I was crying. I had been standing at the stove in the kitchen. I didn't know that I was pregnant yet (at that time, we were under the impression that he couldn't contribute to the production of children naturally). Quite suddenly, I felt the nagging urge to cry. I had no reason to do so that I was aware of; I wasn't upset, sad, angry, emotionally touched, etc.

I knew, however, that if I started crying randomly in the kitchen, hubby would ask me what was wrong. I didn't want to lie to him, and I sincerely don't think I could have thought of anything believable anyway, even if I had wanted to. This was LITERALLY that random. So, I elected to choke it back long enough to step outside, under the guise that I wanted a cigarette.

I thought I was safe. My husband was on the computer, playing a game. And, at the time, having no children around, smoking was allowed in the house if he really felt the need to light up. *Sigh* No such luck. He decided to join me. As I knew would happen, he asked what he had done wrong. When I said (honestly) "nothing," an argument erupted.

Even then, it was almost comical! He was so incredibly pissed off at me for "playing games with him" and I was simply frustrated because I seriously had NO idea why I was crying.

And so that pregnancy went. I cried when I ran out of milk, ON THE WAY TO THE STORE FOR MORE MILK! Frankly, it was pretty ridiculous. Unfortunately, I didn't get a choice in the matter.

My 7 year old is overly sensitive. She always has been. My father and I have actually had conversations, through these seven years, revolving around "how on earth is she going to handle life?" She'll likely always be sensitive, but I think she's learning how to handle the things that upset her progressively better.

When I was pregnant with my now 5 year old daughter, I came out swinging. I was moody; the kind of PMS that makes men hide behind the couch, ready to chuck chocolate bars, for purposes of distraction, and run for their lives! I went from happy to ticked in mere nanoseconds.

Wouldn't you know it - that's how she is! She is a very sweet girl, don't get me wrong. But, her moods are like some little devil is in there flicking a switch on and off! And when she is angry ~ most run for cover.

For quite a few months there, when she was about two, she would head-butt the tile floor during temper tantrums. Getting her to knock that off was no easy task. And, absolutely not joking, she actually did break the tile in one spot.

With this current pregnancy, number 3, I'm not yet sure how I feel. On rare occasions, there is a bit more sensitivity or the like. However, I haven't [yet] noticed any significant changes in mood or personality. Physical changes? Oh, they're prevalent for sure. But emotional changes - not so much.

I'm not sure what that means yet, but I'll find out soon enough.

January 22, 2010

Hope For Haiti Now

I'm currently in the process of watching the "Hope For Haiti Now" telethon, on TNT. And, so far, it has been absolutely amazing.

It's wonderful and touching that they were able to organize a show like this, and receive the assistance of so many celebrities of various types in a relatively short amount of time.

There are lots of different ways you can give, to help Haiti in light of this tragedy. Visit the site for more info. ~

The survival stories have been especially inspiring and heart-warming. People found days after the devastating quake, trapped under mounds of rubble, some miraculously alive.

Living in California, earthquakes are a fairly constant worry for me (me and most of the state). When I see the devastation this quake has brought to Port Au Prince, I can't help but empathize as I imagine what I would do. Hell, California is waiting for a quake of similar magnitude. I grew up being warned that it was coming for us, while doing weekly earthquake drills (which I find are actually very little help when the world is crashing down around you so quickly). And, though this same situation has crossed my mind and given me day/nightmares time and time again. I STILL can't wrap my brain around what I would do, if I lost everything and everyone in my life...

I would like to think that I would be half as strong as most of the Haitian people I'm watching right now. I'd like to think that I would be one quarter as strong as Monley, the little 5 year old boy that was just found alive after 8 days trapped beneath a crumbled building without food, water, comfort, room to move an inch...

I know that we never know how strong we are until we have to be. I believe that, and I know from experience that it's true. But... honestly... I'm not quite arrogant enough to believe that I could be quite THAT strong.

100% Honesty

"Honesty is the best policy," that's what they say. And, I do tend to agree with this statement.

I used to have morals that I felt were absolute. But, one day, I had to start thinking outside the black and white ~ delving into shades of gray. And, I have found that gray, though not always the most comfortable living situation, is what more is needed of.

Whatever the moral we're talking about, I have found that there is always something to counter the argument where that moral would perhaps need to be broken. Stealing, for instance, though generally frowned upon, could be viewed as needed, should you be starving (literally for days) with no money or access to money. In that situation, stealing a loaf of bread could quite literally mean the difference between life and death.

So, should your morals dictate that a person has a right to live AND that stealing is always bad, in the situation described above, you would be forced to find a gray area in order to stick to your ethical code in any fashion.

The same could be said of honesty. Is it really ALWAYS the best policy?

There are times where a police officer may need to lie to a suspect, in order to save a life (gain the suspect's trust to find the location of a kidnap victim, for instance). A victim may need to lie in order to save his or her own life or the life of a loved one during hostage situations, or even the more common mugging.

Lying can be a survival mechanism. In fact, the brain has devised lying as a means to protect one self. Think about when you were a child and you lied in order to save your behind from a potential butt-whooping. Your brain told you that telling the truth in this particular situation was dangerous. "Danger Will Robertson, Danger!"

To quote Eddie Izzard, "I was dead at the time."

Now, my mother countered this by smacking me if I was caught in a lie, even if the only reason I was caught was because I immediately copped to it. This is a method I highly suggest you do NOT use on a child (or anyone who immediately backpeddles to the truth). It was extremely ineffective, serving only to teach me that I needed to be craftier if I wanted to avoid parental wrath.

But then I started thinking about situations that are not life threatening, where a lie may be the better approach, the better policy for that individual situation.

Take, for instance, a relationship. Your wife has gained quite a few pounds, she's feeling depressed about it, perhaps she doesn't look quite as attractive as she did in her youth... is it really the best policy for you to say, "Yeah honey, you're fat and ugly now, but I still love ya!" Perhaps it would be better (and, in this particular situation, definitely better for your survival rate) to simply say, "You're beautiful". Is it 100% honest? Maybe, maybe not. If you love her, there is certainly truth in it, since there is more than one kind of beauty. You don't have to elaborate on the possible fact that you're not talking about her sexual appeal to the majority of the species.

And, what about situations where the truth can only bring pain, without ANY positive after effects? If the truth cannot bring healing, but a lie might? If your grandmother is dying, but you say, "You're going to be fine, back on your feet in no time."

Certainly, in every day life, these are not the norms. Certainly, in every day life, the truth is still the best policy, even if the truth is a simple "I don't know."

It takes courage to tell the truth when the outcome is that you might get into trouble, but you'll only be braver for it. In those every day situations, the ones we typically lied our ways out of as children, standing up for your dignity and telling the truth can only make you stronger. And, honestly, chances are the outcome isn't going to be as heinous as you think.

Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Yes, I'm one of those non-teenaged Twilight people. Commence with the laughter, let me know when you're done...

**Fair warning before I continue - There may be Twilight spoilers in this entry. So, STOP READING now, if you haven't seen at least both movies that have been made and/or don't want to know anything about either the films or the books.**

Before the release of the first movie, I had never ever heard of the Twilight Saga. But, I've always enjoyed the genres of fantasy, sci-fi, and horror, so the previews interested me.

Well, my sister (who actually is a teenager, at least for one more year now) couldn't find anyone who was willing to go see the movie with her. Apparently, she had already read all the Twilight books, and was thoroughly in love with the story and with Edward in particular (she's always had a thing for vampires).

So, I went with her to see it. We stood in line for the midnight showing, on opening "day". Honestly, that isn't something I normally do. I don't do opening weekends as a general rule - too many people for my liking and they're usually pushy ta boot. But, I have children. And, so, this schedule worked best, since they would already be asleep and grandpa wouldn't have to do or explain too much in my absence.

Well, I loved it. I didn't have any preconceived notions about this being a "goth teenager only" story. So, I was able to enjoy it without the opinions of nay-sayers running amuck in my brain. I was also able to enjoy it without any preconceived ideas of it being the greatest thing since sliced bread!

I already knew my sister would be "team Edward". He's a vampire, it was pretty much a given. And, don't get me wrong, the guy who plays Edward is cute, a great actor, and if you've ever seen him interviewed - he's funny and dorky in a very endearing way. Still - not my cup of tea as the character of Edward.

I quickly found myself well within the parameters of "team Jacob". And, I was ever more convinced that he was the better choice, after I read the books lent to me by my sister.

Perhaps I am predisposed to werewolves in the same way that vampires stoke the fires of many women and girls. I find them certainly more masculine, more passionate (though I would agree, less romantic)... They're rougher, but often depicted as good-looking when in human form. They're just... more my style I guess.

Specifically in Twilight, I would say that the potential relationship between Bella and Jacob is portrayed as healthier and much more fun, in my opinion. I understand that she's obsessed with Edwards beauty. But, the obsession that Bella and Edward share for one another is not always shown as a healthy love for one another. I mean, really, suicide because you THINK that the woman you love MAY have died? You're really not even going to go to the funeral... check for yourself... make sure... ? You're not even going to attempt to survive... push through the pain... anything... ? Uh-huh... unhealthy!

And, I have lost love before. I have lost the kind of love that most can only ever read about. But... seriously... 3 months in a catatonic state? You're STILL unable to at least accept the loss and work toward healing? I understand the gaping hole in the chest thing. I understand the longing for that person sticking with you for months... years... even forever... But, though I could understand the urge to give up on yourself because of that pain, following through with that whole giving up on yourself thing is, again, unhealthy.

The relationship between Jacob and Bella, on the other hand, is shown as one stemming from lifelong friendship. It's slower to start and devoid of obsession. There's still that longing for one another, that need to have one another in their lives... but, it's never shown as a relationship of often unhealthy obsession that could potentially lead one party or another to kill themselves in whatever possible way they can find!

Still ... either way ... I think it's a good story. And, Alice is full of win!

January 21, 2010

It's Raining, It's Pouring...

But, there is no old man snoring... not in the house at least.

I really do love the rain. I even love thunder and lightning storms. But, this is ridiculous!

Just two minutes ago, the wind was blowing so strong I could hear trash cans, pet food dishes, even pets being tossed around outside like excessively noisy leaves! Then, the rain started coming down so hard, I swear I dared to open the door for just a moment, so I could make sure we weren't getting golf-ball sized hail!

I just got off the phone with my grandmother in Massachusetts; she was concerned that perhaps we were having to be evacuated, or otherwise suffering injury to pets, people, or property. Luckily, for us, we're located in a fairly safe location when compared to other areas of the state. We're not close enough to hills that we have to worry about mudslides. Our little corner of the valley has a pretty good draining system (and the L.A. wash just down the street), so flooding is minimal, even when the rain is coming down in sheets. We haven't had any tornados touch down anywhere near us (knock on wood), though earlier today we did experience gusts of wind that I swore was Mother Nature attempting to kill me! They picked up right as I was sitting on the porch enjoying what seemed a calm, gentle, mini-rainstorm. I actually had trouble getting the front door to close as I bolted into the house and the outdoor (stray) cats booked it into the relative safety of the garage.

So, in all seriousness, I appreciate the refill to California's reservoirs. I appreciate the opportunity to finally enjoy a bit of rain. I appreciate the break from the sweltering heat and near-constant sun California is famous for.

But... Dude... if I drown... in California... ON LAND... I am going to be one pissed off dead woman!

Why Help Haiti?

Believe it or not, there are people who are asking this question right now and seriously wondering why we should get involved in helping the people and country of Haiti, in light of this most recent natural disaster.

With the likes of Pat Robertson making public statements that this tragedy is somehow God's will or punishment, it amazes me that there are people who truly believe this.

The fact of the matter is, these are people we're talking about here; flesh and blood beings that are in desperate need of help. Imagine losing any and all access to health care (WHILE you're injured or dying). Imagine losing any and all access to food, water, basic sanitation.... Imagine losing your shelter, your loved ones, and anything and everything else you hold dear.

The fact of the matter is, natural disasters happen. They aren't the fault of Gods or devils. They aren't the fault of any particular religion or culture practiced by any particular group of people. They happen anywhere there's a fault line... an ocean... earth... And, they affect anyone and everyone, whether or not they believe in any particular deity, whether or not they are "good" or "bad".

Well, now a natural disaster has occurred in Haiti. This has affected a group of people who were already poor, facing hardships that we Americans may not even be able to imagine.

Honestly, maybe we should have been helping the people and country of Haiti long before this tragedy struck. And, perhaps, if this devastation can bring us to a place where we're willing to do anything and everything we can NOW to help these people... maybe, just maybe, there's a silver lining to this cloud.

So... why help Haiti? Because it's the right thing to do. Because these are people... children... pregnant women... scared beings that need the very basic things that we take for granted each and every day. Because we, all of us, have the power to help if even in some small way.

If you have the ability, you can go out there yourself and volunteer your time to those in need. That may not be feasible for most people, myself included. But, that's certainly not the only way to lend a helping hand.

How about donating the money you were going to spend on the latest video game or DVD to UNICEF or the American Red Cross? I'd bet most of us could do that.

Even just writing a blog, or a tweet, to remind people who are maybe forgetting or pushing it out of their mind - Haiti still needs any help anyone can provide, and they will for quite some time.

Love ~ Easy?

The alarm just went off. It's set to blast music so loud that you have no choice but to jump up and make the sound go away.

The song blaring through the speakers this morning was "Yesterday". Don't get me wrong, I like the song. But, since when has love been "an easy game to play"? And, why would you want it to be?

Love is filled with ups and downs, good times and bad times, for better and for worse... as it should be. It can be simple, as in you love someone or you don't, but it should never be easy.

An easy love would be cheap. Expecting it to be easy tends to lead to a cheapened form of "love" where one is prone to disloyalty, to taking off when times inevitably get a little difficult, to never really being able to appreciate and cherish the bond you share with someone.

A strong love, a more complex love, a "true" love is one that can survive even the worst of times. This much more difficult love can withstand petty arguments, serious fights, vast differences of opinion, financial struggles, and so much more. And, at the end of the day, this difficult love is even closer to and more bonded in the relationship.

Over the years, I have found myself in disagreement, even out-right passionate argument, with many friends, lovers, companions, children, parents, etc. I'm sure everyone has, at least everyone who has ever been close to anyone. And, if you haven't been that close to anyone, I highly recommend it.

I told a boyfriend once, "I need you to be able to argue with me," when we broke up. He didn't understand what I meant, thinking that I actually wanted a relationship where consistent fighting was the name of the game. I told him, "It's not that I want to fight with you, but we will inevitably do so, and I need to know that you can fight back and our relationship can survive it without becoming toxic!"

That was back in high school. We did manage to remain friends, even grow closer. We finally did start arguing, two-sided (rather than him just saying "whatever you want, I'll do in order to keep you dear" while I was getting more and more frustrated with the lack of communication about anything potentially controversial). And, today, we're closer than ever, planning on getting married, and I'm having his baby.

Of all the people I have ever fought with, those with which there was a genuine bond have stuck around. Those with which there was real love have become ever closer. And, the relationship has survived, grown, thrived.

Because THAT love was never cheap. THAT love was never "easy". THAT love took work and serious commitment.

Those are the relationships that stand the test of time, grow stronger in the light of adversary, and become the only bonds that matter.

January 20, 2010

Argument in Favor of Allowing Gay Marriage

First and foremost, this will be a long post. For that, I do apologize.

I read an article today, in the L.A. times, regarding a current trial going on in California on the issue of legalizing gay marriage in the state. Since I feel strongly about this issue, on a rational level, I was compelled to write something about it.

I could use a ton of emotional arguments here, but that's not my usual style. So, I'll be sticking to logic for my end of the debate.

Marriage is (hopefully) a contract between consenting adults. Gay consenting adults are still consenting adults. What possible logical reason is there to deny this right to consenting adults?

I've heard the argument that homosexual relations are biblically unacceptable. I could argue against that, I have, but it doesn't matter for the purposes of this entry, so we'll just assume that it is indeed frowned upon by God. And? There are plenty of legal things that are biblically unacceptable; lying, adultery (at least, that's not illegal in CA), sex before marriage, not believing in the bible, rejecting the holy spirit, coveting thy neighbors ass (I mean - why do you think we even have plastic surgery?)etc. etc. etc.

I've heard the argument that marriage is a contract that always needs to include God. Really? Then why does no one protest Atheist, Pagan, Buddhist, etc. weddings? Why is no one getting ticked off with marriages that occur at the hands of a justice of the peace and specifically omit any and all mention of deity?

Besides, honestly, if the sanctity of your marriage is dependent upon ANY other marriage, you're already in far more marital trouble than you think you are. If God can be somehow undeified by two people of the same sex getting married, that's not a terribly powerful deity in the first place. Come on now. Certainly, there are better, more logical, more rational arguments than this?

NO ONE is saying that ANY church or other private organization should be forced to allow or condone ANY ceremony or service that it feels goes against it's belief system. If they were, I'd be the first to jump on the bandwagon, screaming "HELL NO!"

But, our forefathers saw fit to attempt to ensure a seperation of church and state. It's unconstitutional to not make every attempt to follow that wish. So, ANY argument that is based on a spiritual belief system of ANY kind is fundamentally flawed when we're discussing the secular legality of the issue.

If marriage were ONLY allowed within the confines of a spiritual institution, it should absolutely be up to that spiritual institution whether or not to allow ANY type of marriage to take place. But, it's not. We can NOT deny atheists the right to marriage (though a pastor/rabbi/reverend/priest/etc. can refuse to perform the service). And, we can therefore NOT deny any other consenting adults the right to marriage. A justice of the peace can't be basing his secular, government only marriage ceremony on arguments that revolve around whether or not God will cry if that ceremony takes place.

So, what exactly is the "logical" argument for denying rights to any human being, and particularly this specific group of human beings? I have never heard one. It's "unnatural"? How exactly, when we know that there are a multitude of animals that engage in homosexual relations, and human beings are indeed animals? But, again, we're talking consenting adults here, so what does it matter again?

Homosexuality can be "changed"? LOL! Sorry, but no it cannot. A bisexual person who had previously only been with someone of the same sex could certainly decide to stick with only people of the opposite sex. But, that doesn't mean they will suddenly cease to find people of the same sex romantically or sexually attractive. And, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that those who have tried their hardest weren't even able to do that much. And, I say it again, if we are talking about consenting adults who wish to enter into this contract with one another, with all the responsibilities that entails - what difference does it make if they COULD somehow change their orientation?

My opinion on whether or not homosexuality is fine or wrong doesn't matter. Your opinion on whether or not homosexuality is fine or wrong doesn't matter. The issue is - legally, secularly, how can the right to enter into a contract with another consenting adult be denied to any citizen of the United States?

Remembering an Embarassing Moment

I'm not easily embarassed, I never have been. However, it can be done, and I usually end up doing it to myself when those moments do occur. On the plus side, at least they're normally funny...

Back in high school, I had to go to the gynecologist for one of those dreaded yearly pap smear things - fun times. It was either my first or second time, so not a whole lot of experience with strangers violating my hoo-hoo with metallic ducks, mini spatulas, and tiny bottle brushes. I elected to bring a dear friend with me, hoping she might be able to distract me from the stirrups.

We walked into the exam room. She sat down in a chair near the door. I undressed and put on the napkin I was handed. Seriously - what is that thing supposed to cover exactly? And, what is it that the Dr. isn't going to see? I felt a little ridiculous in that thing.

I'll spare you the details, but the Dr. finished her exam. It wasn't that bad - I've certainly had worse. Anyway...

Dear old Doc left the room so that I could get dressed. The Dr. had allowed me to keep my socks on, so that my feet wouldn't get cold in the stirrups. It's so nice when they try to keep your comfort in mind. My friend had spent her time neatly folding my clothes on her lap (she even folded my underwear).

I took off the half a sheet of newspaper I had been dressed in, used it to clean myself up a bit (ladies - you know the kind of clean-up that's needed after that procedure). I then proceeded to walk over to my friend and bend over her, to pick up my underwear.

Now, I'm not sure if the Dr. knocked or not. I AM sure that neither of the two people still in that exam room heard a knock. What I DID hear was the door opening.

I'm bent over, in absolutely nothing but a pair of socks, right in front of the door that is now starting to swing open. I have no idea who is behind that door, but I do know that I have to think fast if I don't want to show off everything to some janitor or assistant, or ...

As quickly as is humanly possible, I turn directions, towards the examination table I was just laying on, which is behind one of those medical curtain things, now partially closed. I go to run towards it...

You know that movie scene where Tom Cruise slides along the polished floor in just a shirt and socks? Yes, well, he actually MEANT to slide...

I got about one step forward before my nice, warm, comfortable socks did what socks do best against super clean, polished, well-maintained linoleum flooring.

Quicker than any slip and slide I've ever tried in my life, I went sprawling to the floor. Apparently I had some pretty good force behind my quick motions too, because I kept sliding forward.

My body finally came to rest, perfectly straight, on my stomach, arms directly out in front of me; with the front have of my body underneath the examination table, and everything from my butt down sticking out into the open, from under the medical curtain.

You know what? Not even I, in that exact moment, could stop myself from laughing hysterically as I lay there with my buttocks glaring up at whoever it was that had just walked into the room.

As it turns out, it was the Dr. that had just examined me. She too couldn't help but let out a bit of a chuckle, but she was also worried about possible lawsuits and things of that nature that everyone worries about now.

So, she was desperately trying to make sure I was okay, while choking back the laughter that was so apparent in her voice.

Me? I was laughing FAR too hard to answer this poor woman. I couldn't catch my breath long enough to do it. I tried, but it just wasn't going to happen.

My dear friend was finally able to tell her that I was fine. She left the room. I managed to get up and finish getting dressed. Then, I quickly exited that office.

Why Am I Blogging?

I'm in the process of writing a new book. It has a sci-fi/horror theme, but its main purpose is to speak about the relationship between the majority of mothers and daughters. You know - that love/hate thing that occurs in the majority of same sex parent-child relationships.

It's rare that you hear the terms "mamas girl" or "daddy's boy". Generally speaking, not with all people certainly, parents and children of the same sex tend to have more complicated relationships with one another. So, I felt inspired by that to write something on it.

But, this will be a lengthy project, so I need an outlet to make sure that I'm still writing something, keeping the creative juices flowing in one way or another, but can also just unwind and focus on a different topic every now and then (even if that topic is just silly or funny or sad or controversial).

Also, I've always enjoyed writing in diaries and journals. In fact, among those who know me best, giving me a new diary or journal is a kind of default gift for birthdays or holidays. By doing this journal online, publicly, it also gives me the opportunity to vent or share and perhaps get feedback that a traditional journal on the nightstand near the bed simply cannot provide.

So, here I am. I'm just going to blog about whatever comes to mind; a joke I heard, a story or memory from long ago or recently, something I believe in, something that ticks me off - whatever.

January 19, 2010

Storms in Los Angeles

It's been raining out here, fairly consistently, for the last couple of days. Well, I personally enjoy rain. I'm sitting outside, on my front porch, right now in fact. But, the wind has also been blowing with some considerable force.

Today, there was actually a tornado warning for parts of Los Angeles and Orange County. As of right now, those warnings have been canceled. However, there may still be some parts of California that are at significant risk for a tornado. Actually, there are reports that one or two (granted - small tornados, particularly in the eyes of those who live in or near "tornado alley") have already touched down and caused damage even.

Ice... Hail... Flooding... Mudslides... Evacuations... (and, we've barely even begun with this storm)

Normally, it's drought, heatstroke, and skin-cancer causing sunburns that we have to worry about out here, weather wise.

Tornados in California? What's THAT about? I've lived here pretty much my entire life, I've had to worry about earthquakes on a daily basis. But.... freakin' tornados?!

Haiti gets the devastating quake that Californians have been dreading and anticipating for years, and California gets to worry about whether or not trailer parks will be safe from twisters? Mother nature must really be pissed about the lack of recycling going on huh? I mean, really, what in the world is going on here?

If some volcano erupts in Siberia this month or something - that's it! I want a new planet! We can call it Planet Bob, I'm cool with that. Come on NASA, get crackin'.

On Being Pregnant...

My boobies hurt. Breathing gives me heartburn. Headaches are a far more common occurrence than they have been in the past. Mood swings? It's like PMS for nine months straight! The other day, brushing my teeth initiated my gag reflex (almost had to undo and redo that whole brushing thing). The fact that this is my third pregnancy hasn't prepared me to find a comfortable sleeping position. And I am REALLY sick and tired of peeing at this point!


I'm just coming out of the third trimester now. The nausea and headaches are less frequent than they were a month ago. I giggle and swell with happiness every time I feel my very active baby move. The most amazing man in the world rubs my back and feet constantly without being asked. My two older kids are thoroughly excited (my youngest wanted to "wake baby up" the other day - may have given him/her shaken fetus syndrome, but that's okay). And I can't wait to welcome baby to the world in just five more months or so.


All in all - this definitely ranks as one of the happiest times of my life. :)